Our local community is currently arguing about appropriate programming for public libraries.
Knitting enthisiasts are encouraged to gather and chat as they create.
Unhoused folks are welcome to sit all day in any area of the library building.
Toddlers can run and scream around the space before, during and after story time.
Patrons can use the computer to look at any type of content.
LGBTQIA+ advocates can reserve a room and invite community members to chat.
Neo-nazi groups can print flyers and hold gatherings.
Employees stock Narcan and know how to revive potential overdose victims.
Folks in our communities accept these groups and more.
But they draw the line at drag queen story hour hosted by a family-friendly artist.
According to our state representative, “Public libraries are to be neutral entities that serve communities with appropriate resources for all ages.”
I disagree that libraries are neutral. This definition is inaccurate and outdated.
According to Susan Benton, the president and CEO of the Urban Libraries Council, “We certainly are without judgment about anybody’s characteristics.”
I think libraries can push the envelope and challenge society.
And I support all programming, including the events I would attend and the events I would not attend. My neighbors are unique and need access to the public library I help to support through my tax dollars. I want everyone to feel welcome because I want to be welcome.
What do you think?
Why Do We Have Public Libraries?
How NOT To Get Weighed At A Doctor’s Appointment
For a few months, I’ve experienced numbness, pain and tingling in my hands, wrists and arms. The symptoms happen as I sleep, drive or perform repetitive movements like chopping vegetables at my kitchen job or typing. The symptoms seem to be getting worse, so I talked to my doctor about them, and she referred me to an orthopedic doctor. He completed an EMG last month, and the results determined that I do have moderate carpal tunnel and am a candidate for surgery. Ugh. So, I visited an orthopedic surgeon today to talk about my options.
As soon as the nurse ushered me out of the waiting room and into the exam room hallway, she requested my weight. I dislike this part of doctor visits. I know I’m overweight (even though I have lost – and kept off – 30 pounds in the past three years, I’m still technically obese). So, I told her what I weigh and said I didn’t want to get on the scale. Her reply: “It’s doctor’s orders. I’m just the messenger. But you can close your eyes if you don’t want to see the results.” I grudgingly complied and then am embarrassed to admit that I gave her attitude for the rest of the check-in procedure.
I understand that the doctor will need an accurate weight if I decide to have surgery. The anesthesiologist will need to know exactly how much sedation to administer. And sometimes, weight can be important, like at an annual physical when I want to talk about my health and wellness. But getting a weight from me during today’s routine visit didn’t seem essential.
The minute I arrived home, I Googled “does the doctor need to weigh me at every visit?” And the results affirm my right to not have my weight taken at every visit. I’ve also gained some helpful phrases to use as I advocate for myself in the future. Maybe this information can help others, too, who don’t want to be weighed.
1. Just say no. Or “I’d prefer not to be weighed for this appointment, thank you.”
2. “I don’t want to be weighed unless it’s medically necessary. Please explain to me why this is medically necessary so I can provide informed consent.”
3. “Being weighed makes me uncomfortable, so I am going to decline.”
4. “I am recovering from an eating disorder/I have a history of disordered eating and getting weighed would be harmful in my recovery.”
5. “Focusing on my weight is not very helpful and it is not the concern that I came here for. Can we get back to the topic I am here for?”
6. “Would the focus of this appointment be different if I were in a different sized body?” or “What would your treatment approach be if I were in a different sized body?”
7. “I reject diet culture, and the number on the scale does not predict my health and well-being.”
8. “Focusing on my weight is a stressor. I prefer to focus on the topic at hand rather than my weight.”
I wish I had spoken up today. But now, I know what to say the next time. And this knowledge is an investment in my physical, mental and emotional health and well-being.
2023 Books In Review
Every year since 2015, I have participated in the Goodreads challenge. On January 1, I set a goal for how many books I want to read in the year. Then, I get to meet my goal.
In 2023, I decided to read 150 books. I ended the year at 319!
How exactly do I crush my goal?
Primarily, I read every day. You can find me reading while I eat lunch, if I’m bored with the evening TV show my husband likes to watch and before bed. I also listen to audiobooks every day as I drive, wash dishes and make dinner, and complete chores. Reading helps me relax, entertains me and teaches me new things.
If you’re looking for your next good read, here are my favorites from 2023 and links to my reviews.
The Modern Saints: Portraits and Reflections on the Saints: From multiple writers, I learned about saints throughout history and discovered how each individual can influence my actions and life today.
The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place Series: The Incorrigible Children of Ashton Place are no ordinary children, Miss Penelope Lumley is no ordinary governess, and this series is funny, heartwarming and engaging. I will definitely read each book again!
Being Heumann: An Unrepentant Memoir of a Disability Rights Activist: Judy Heumann recounts her lifelong battle to achieve respect, acceptance and inclusion in society for all folks. I had never heard of Ms. Heumann before reading this book and gained a new perspective for her work and a reminder to keep up her fight.
I, Julian: The fictional autobiography of Julian of Norwich: Although this book is fiction, I appreciated the message of love and insight into the spiritual highs and emotional lows of anchoresses and spiritual directors like Julian. My favorite quote: “All shall be well, and all shall be well, and all manner of thing shall be well.”
Rump: The True Story of Rumpelstiltskin: This (fairly) true story is filled with courage, friendship and fun. I enjoyed listening to the audiobook version and felt sad when it ended!
Anne of Green Gables series: I laughed, cried and felt emotions like joy, anger and grief as I read this series. While some content is outdated, the classic series remains entertaining and heartwarming.
Wanderlust, USA: Flula Borg explores several cultural phenomena from coast to coast, including dog sledding, horse racing and Revolutionary War reenactments. I laughed until I cried (and peed a little)!
Spider Woman’s Daughter: A Leaphorn Chee Novel: A mystery and #19 in a series, this book surprised me. Even though I would change the title, I really enjoyed the content and the feisty grandma.
The Penderwicks series: Grateful the last book in this series became available as an audiobook! I fell in love with the family in 2021 and would read this series again.
Okay, your turn! What books did you enjoy this year and which books could I add to my 2024 reading list?
Happy reading!
My Trident – A Big and Meaningful Surprise
Ever since I got my first tattoo in May 2022, I knew I would add to it. But I wasn’t sure exactly what I wanted. Finally, I decided. And the new addition – a trident – is a big surprise.
You see, I’m not a huge ocean fan. Sure, I’ll go to the beach. But I usually don’t jump right into the water. I’m more likely to sit on a big chair under an umbrella or on a boardwalk bench with a book!
However, the trident achieved significant meaning in my life recently.
In June, my son was involved in a car accident, and he broke a tiny bone in his jaw. The oral surgeon decided to wire his jaw shut for at least six weeks, which would hopefully give the bone time to heal. The necessary surgery would also limit my son’s activity, and the doctor gave us no guarantee that healing would happen in time for my son to participate in his senior football season.
I felt heartbroken.
I reached out to a few trusted women on my prayer team, and a dear friend offered to bring me dinner that first night. As we sat in the meditation room on the hospital’s pediatric floor, we cried, prayed and talked. She also offered me a gift. Before leaving her house, she asked God what I needed. He prompted her to bring gum – Trident and Extra.
Of course, I returned to the hospital room after she left and researched the trident. What was so special about that gum that God wanted me to have it?
It turns out that a trident is pretty special. Here’s what I uncovered.
*The word “trident” means three teeth – and my son has his teeth wired shut. The trident is almost a stand-in for my son’s missing body part.
*A polearm weapon, the trident is used for thrusting and throwing, which reminds me of the invitation I received to embrace a new way of being. Immediately after the accident, I was tempted to hide from public judgment, isolate myself and handle the situation alone. I also often wanted to retreat under a warm blankie and sleep forever. Yet, I knew that I needed to reach out for support from people who would care for me and my family. I felt an invitation to step out of hiding, stand up and be seen, move forward, and speak up. I realized that I didn’t need to advertise details of the accident, but I also didn’t need to hide. I could step forward and take action as I advocate for myself and my son.
*The trident is a three-pronged spear and a symbol of the Trinity (Father, Jesus, Spirit). We would definitely need the characteristics of all three members in this situation to bring healing, comfort, wisdom, and peace.
*Over the centuries, the trident has been used as a symbol of power, authority, protection, strength, inner strength, personal growth and development, fortitude, courage, overcoming fear, truthfulness, determination, perseverance, stability, faithfulness, abundance, and spiritual direction. I am calling on God to show up and equip me in the moment with these traits.
*As a symbol of the sea god Poseidon, the trident reminds me to continue to turn to the water. Indeed, my hot morning shower in the spacious family bathroom at the end of the hall gives me space to weep, worship and find healing. And I know I need to stay hydrated so my body and brain function properly during this stressful time.
*Used in agriculture, the trident removes leaves from plants during the winnowing process. I definitely feel like we are being winnowed and sifted! So, I ask God to refine us, redeem that situation and bring a good harvest from it.
Over the next six days, I spent many hours sitting beside my son’s hospital bed, walking the halls or in the shower crying, grieving, questioning, and wondering. And sometimes when I felt like giving up, I’d grab a piece of gum and remember the truths God showed me. That gum and its symbol gave me hope, courage and fortitude.
That’s why when Thanksgiving drew near and I had a few days off work, I decided to schedule my next tattoo. And I love it! Here’s the big reveal.
I’m curious: how has God shown up in your life this year?
Holy Pausing from the Center for Action and Contemplation
Artist and retreat leader Christine Valters Paintner suggests the ancient monastic practice of statio as a way to remind ourselves of the holiness of transitions:
In the monastic tradition, statio is the practice of stopping one thing before beginning another. It is the acknowledgment that in the space of transition and threshold is a sacred dimension, a holy pause full of possibility. This place between is a place of stillness, where we let go of what came before and prepare ourselves to enter fully into what comes next.
When we pause between activities or spaces or moments in our days, we open ourselves to the possibility of discovering a new kind of presence to the darkness of in-between times. When we rush from one thing to another, we skim over the surface of life, losing the sacred attentiveness that brings forth revelations in the most ordinary of moments.
Statio calls us to a sense of reverence for slowness, for mindfulness, and for the fertile dark spaces between our goals where we can pause and center ourselves, and listen. We can open up a space within for God to work. We can become fully conscious of what we are about to do rather than mindlessly completing another task.
Paintner reminds us that thresholds, physical places of transition, are ubiquitous in our everyday lives, and that we can use them for our spiritual practice:
In the days ahead, become aware of all the times you cross a threshold. This might be moving from one space to another—entering through a doorway, transitioning from one activity to the next, or tending the thresholds of the day, especially at dawn and dusk. Pause at each and offer a short blessing, simply becoming aware of the possibilities alive in the moment. See if the threshold helps call forth the thinness of this moment, making the voice of the divine more accessible.
Christine Valters Paintner, The Soul’s Slow Ripening: 12 Celtic Practices for Seeking the Sacred (Notre Dame, IN: Sorin Books, 2018), 9, 8.
This concept of statio resonates with me today. Transitions can be difficult for me. I personally often struggle to reroute my brain and body from tasks like mental work (writing web content, thinking through a problem, journaling) to physical work like cooking dinner, taking a walk or playing with my children.
One of my children also struggles with transitions. They have autism, which prompts them to stay on task until it’s completed even if it’s time to eat, go to school or get ready for bed. I often provided prompts to remind my child of upcoming transitions and created countdowns. For example, “You have five more minutes to play and then we’re putting pajamas on.” But even with prompts, transitions are hard.
Implementing a holy pause can help me transition successfully and take all the parts of me (mind, body, heart) as I move between activities. Maybe this practice could help my child and you, too.
Grace to Myself and Others
The other morning, I decided to hit the grocery store early. As I browsed the taco aisle in my quest for cheese sauce, employee Bill suggested I find more options by the potato chips. He said it’s a trick he learned since he started working there – often, items are stocked in multiple locations across the store.
I smiled and said, “You have probably learned many tricks.” He agreed but said some I wouldn’t want to know. Like how he sometimes finds the extra inventory stored on the very top shelf not even close to the display below.
“Young kids,” he signed, shaking his head.
“They’re still learning about life. They’re works in progress,” I replied with a laugh.
Then I continued. “But last night, I turned the wrong burner on and cooked a plastic container instead of my eggs. So I guess I’m a work in progress, too.”
He shook his head in agreement, and we laughed together.
I walked away from the taco aisle and Bill thinking about how it’s easy to make fun of others or complain when folks do things differently. And like Bill, incompetency drives me crazy.
But I want to remember that we’re all human. We all make mistakes and mess up.
Like I appreciate people showing me grace, I want to extend grace to others. That’s a small gift that yields big rewards.
The Sixteenth Century in 100 Women: Book Review
After digging into historical archives, Author Amy License has found multiple women from the 1500s who impacted history. Previously, men wielded the pen and wrote about women based on their perspective. Men were the stars. And often, women are merely appendages who continued dynasties. Even the Medusa painting by Caravaggio actually features his face. This book attempts to tell the women’s stories from their view.
And the author includes plenty of clarifying notes when a story infuses a man’s view. As she notes, with a few exceptions, female power was more usually a gift given by men to women of their choice. Women achieved a degree of success through association with their male relatives. Patriarchal society could indulge its favored women. But when those women felt secure, they could end up losing everything based on a man’s whim. Typically, women gained only an illusion of power.
I felt disappointed that most of the women have ties to royalty. I wanted more stories about everyday women. But the author does include some of these characters, including prostitutes who serviced the Pope and his clergy, midwives who worked despite gender restrictions, and a pirate, astronomer, and court jester. And this book includes women from Europe, Asia and Russia.
As I read, I realized that all women impact history. Maybe my name won’t make it into history books, but my life impacts society today.
I was also struck by how little people have changed in the last centuries. Then as now, dysfunctional people remain stuck in obtaining power by any means possible.
Even today, women too often reinforce patriarchal constraints as we judge and shame other women for breaking taboos or following their hearts. It’s time to break that mold.
Some interesting trivia:
*Women’s lives became a legitimate area of study in the 1920s thanks to Eileen Power and her work focusing on social rather than political history.
*Renowned for her beauty, Elizabeth of York’s face is reputed to have been used for the image of the Queen of Hearts on a traditional deck of cards.
*Lisa del Giocondo, aka Lisa Gherardini of Florence, Italy, shared her most famous smile in the world.
*Anti-Semitism was one of the deep-rooted undercurrents of sixteenth-century life.
*Catherine de’ Medici may have retained power thanks to a secret band of seductresses, referred to after 1695 as the Flying Squadron.
*Weyn Ockers was accused of defacing a church even though her role was minor.
*Elena or Eleno de Céspedes who may have been transgender, intersex or lesbian. Despite his attempts to share his truth, few people listened or respected him.
*Isabella Cortese wrote several books about cosmetics.
*Hungarian countess Elizabeth Bathory was accused of murdering and torturing hundreds of girls and women, but these claims may have been fabricated by folks who were jealous of her power, influence and property.
*Pickpocket Mary Frith also worked as a pimp, dressed as a man, smoked a pipe, and otherwise challenged gender and social norms of the day.
Decluttering Tips To Create A Neat, Tidy And Peace-Filled Home
I have too much stuff. Before I can cook a meal or reach for a favorite book, I have to move something. And when I look around, I see piles of papers, boxes and other things on almost every countertop and floor surface. It’s time to get rid of this excess!
But where to start? The thought of getting rid of all the clutter overwhelms me. I’m afraid I’ll throw away something I might eventually need. And some of the items in my home have sentimental value, so it feels like I’m throwing away a person or relationship if I toss or donate the item associated with them.
However, I need peace. I feel lighter, happier and more relaxed when my home environment is neat and tidy. And I only want to own things that are useful and loved. Also, I want to want the trinkets in my home rather than keep every little thing out of obligation. My family will feel more peaceful in a clearer environment, too – they have all expressed a desire to own fewer things.
So, here are a few tips I can use to remove clutter. Some of these tips have worked for me in the past before a move or when the childen outgrew their toy collection. With a variety of possible action steps, I have options and can keep my decluttering routine fresh or manage moments when I get stuck. Maybe one of these options will work for you, too.
One Touch
Act decisively with your goals in mind.
Choose one surface or small area. Pick up one item at a time. Make a decision about whether you’ll keep, donate or toss it. Then place the item where it belongs in your home, in the donation bag or in the trash can.
This technique works well for high-traffic areas. And it’s my favorite way to end the evening.
Pomodoro
Introduced in the 1980s, the Pomodoro technique balances decluttering and rest.
Select a spot to declutter, and set a timer for 25 minutes. Clear that area until the beeper goes off. Then, rest or find something else to do for five minutes. Restart the timer and begin the process again.
I like this technique for big projects like clothing or children’s toys. And you can customize the time based on your energy, schedule and needs. But try not to work longer than 25 minutes at a time to prevent burnout and keep you energized.
Spark Joy
Honor yourself and create a home that truly creates happiness.
Start by picking up an item. Feel the weight of it in your hand. Observe the colors. Examine how you feel as you look at the object. If it sparks joy, keep it. If you feel dread, obligation or no emotional attachment to the object, donate or toss it.
Try this method for the first time on something easy like paperwork or the junk drawer. This way, you can practice listening to your intuition and discovering what truly sparks joy before you tackle hard tasks.
Minimalist Game
Created by Joshua Fields Milburn and Ryan Nicodemus, this decluttering technique removes 496 items from your home.
On day one, toss one item. Toss two items on day two. Continue the challenge for 31 days. And repeat as needed.
I like implementing this technique before and after the holidays and once in the summer. And it’s easy to customize, too. For example, double the amount, shorten the time or ask a friend to participate with you.
Swedish Death
While this decluttering tip sounds morbid, it’s a gentle act that’s freeing.
Sort through your belongings with the intention of only saving things you will actively use, want and love in your lifetime. Donate or toss anything you wouldn’t move to your retirement home or leave for your family to deal with after your death.
Ease into this decluttering method. Practice self-compassion, kindness and gentleness with yourself as you sort your belongings.
Declutter For Peace
These suggestions can help you create a home that’s tidy, neat and peaceful. Which one will you try first?
Dream On With Olivia and The Gentleman From Outer Space
Six-year-old Olivia finds a glowing treasure map that only she can see. Then, seven years later, a spaceship lands in the wheatfields behind the farmhouse where she lives with her dad. These two significant events prompt her to discover that she has an important destiny to fulfill.
According to Galax, the boy in the ship, she is the Princess of Blue Earth. Only she can lead the pair to the Black Ruby, which has the power to heal anything—including her father’s cancer.
So, the pair set out into space where they explore magical and ethereal beauty. But on their quest, they face threats from six Black Priests who could take everything away. Only friendship has the power to transcend time and space.
I really enjoyed reading this short book! Of course, it’s sci-fi, and the concept is far-fetched. But it prompted me to dream. I found myself imagining what it would be like to travel to those far away places with Olivia and Galax. Oh the wonders of an invisible ocean, colorful planetary bands, and bright sunshine and stars a billion trillion million years away.
Olivia finds herself dreaming, too. What would it be like to travel with a stranger? What would happen if she can cure her dad? What’s it like to travel through a wormhole? Is she really a princess? If so, what does that mean? And does she have what it takes to fight and defeat the Black Priests? She discovers the answers to these questions and more on this adventure. But first, she must find the brave inside her.
While helping the new friends embrace their gifts and powers, the book gets a little preachy in places. And I noticed a few plot holes where a destination was mentioned once and then skipped over. However, I really enjoyed the message of this book. The themes of friendship, hope, teamwork, courage, self-worth, and love touched my emotions. I would definitely read more novels by the author.
And I really appreciated the reminder to keep dreaming. I owe it to myself and the world to discover, embrace and nurture my talents, interests and skills as I work together with others to make a difference. On this quest of life, show up and be me.
Some of my favorite quotes:
“We all start out knowing magic. We are born with whirlwinds, forest fires, and comets inside us. We are born able to sing to birds and read the clouds and see our destiny in grains of sand. But then we get the magic educated right out of our souls. We get it churched out, spanked out, washed out, and combed out. We get put on the straight and narrow and told to be responsible. Told to act our age. Told to grow up, for God’s sake. And you know why we were told that? Because the people doing the telling were afraid of our wildness and youth, and because the magic we knew made them ashamed and sad of what they’d allowed to whither in themselves”— Robert McCammon
I suppose that’s why children grow up— to discover new things and to teach adults new ways.
It’s a home because there’s love in it.
“I am famous.”“But how?” I asked. “I’m famous to me.”
“But what if your life isn’t a good story?” He thought for a moment. “Well, then—” he began. “It is why it’s important to not only tell good stories, but to lead a life worth telling stories about.”
There’s no point in doubting yourself. You are what you’ll become. You’ll be what you always were: a majestic princess.
2023 Word of the Year: Wonder
I realized on Friday, December 30, that I don’t remember my word of the year for 2022. Yikes! So, I decided to ask God if He has a word for me for 2023. Immediately, the word “Wonder” came to mind. Wow! I asked for confirmation – like maybe I was imagining this was the word He had for me. But yes indeed – Wonder.
I feel hopeful about this word. I have so many questions! And Wonder seems to be the solution. For example, I can be willing to ask questions like, “What if?” And remain curious as I wait for answers. I can also look for ways God shows up and enjoy the beauty and “wonders” of nature and humanity. Wonderful!
Here’s what Wonder means:
Verb (used without object)
* to think or speculate curiously: to wonder about the origin of the solar system
* to be filled with admiration, amazement, or awe; marvel (often followed by at): He wondered at her composure in such a crisis
Verb (used with object)
* to speculate curiously or be curious about; be curious to know: to wonder what happened
* to feel wonder at: I wonder that you went
Noun
* something strange and surprising; a cause of surprise, astonishment, or admiration: That building is a wonder. It is a wonder he declined such an offer
* the emotion excited by what is strange and surprising; a feeling of surprised or puzzled interest, sometimes tinged with admiration: He felt wonder at seeing the Grand Canyon
I wonder how Wonder will show up this year?
Do you have a word of the year? If so, please share it as we prepare to navigate 2023 together.
Students At Home 