Students At Home

For Everyone who Learns at Home

Are You Speaking Your Spouse’s Love Language?

love

Several times a week, I send “thank you” texts to my husband. Sometimes, I thank him for something special he did for me or the kids or I’ll share something I like about him. I know he won’t text back – even though he reads all the texts I send, he’s too busy working to answer – but I still send him regular texts.

As I sent him yet another text today thanking him for working so hard for us, I realized I’m NOT speaking his love language. I’m speaking MY love language!

love-languages

My love language is words of affirmation. If he’d send me all the texts I send him, I’d be in love heaven!

However, his love language is quality time and acts of service. He feels loved when I make his breakfast without complaining, sighing or rolling my eyes, and he appreciates when I sit and watch TV with him at night instead of working on my computer.

I am challenged today to take another look at my actions. Am I truly showing my husband that I love him? If not, what can I do to change? Sometimes, small tweaks to our actions can make a big difference to our spouse!

As we celebrate Valentine’s Day and true love this month, may we give our spouse’s what THEY need rather than what we need.

John 15:12-13: “This is My commandment, that you love one another, just as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends.”

 

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When Your Child Hurts

My daughter loves our local community theater group. It’s designed for kids from grades four to 12, and everyone, no matter how well they sing and dance, gets a part.

For the past two years, my daughter played a part in the chorus. She sings, dances and in general has fun on stage. This year, she was hoping for a speaking part and even joined the school chorus so she could become a better singer.

Since November, she’s talked about rehearsing for the audition, which involves singing a short song and sharing a monologue. Unfortunately, auditions yesterday did not go well.

Today, she found out that she’s a villager once again.

As soon as she discovered her role, her face fell. I saw the disappointment on her face, and she quickly excused herself to go to bed.

Before she retreated to her room, I hugged her goodnight and told her she’ll make an amazing villager. I felt her body tense and heard her softly start to cry. My heart broke as I held her.

What could I say to ease her pain?

disappointment

I silently prayed and then told my precious child that I am proud of her for auditioning – it’s a big deal to stand in front of three adults in a small room and sing and talk! I also told her that I’m excited to watch her and hope she can find joy in her role. Since she’s a villager, she’ll be in at least half of the scenes, and some of her friends are also villagers.

I’m not sure my words did much to make my darling feel better, but I pray she remembers her value. It’s not determined by the role she wins in a play! And I pray she continues to put her all into rehearsals and enjoy this year’s theater season.

I also pray that she turns to God for comfort. I can hold and encourage her, but I can’t heal the pain she feels. Only God can do that.

What about you? How do you comfort your kids when they hurt?

Prayer: “Father, please hold my child tonight. She’s hurting, and I’m hurting for her. I ask you to hold her close and remind her of your incredible love for her. Also, may she remember her worth. Thank you for entrusting her to me and for being her Father, and thank you for giving me wisdom!”

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Honesty Sets You Free

honesty-sets-you-free

As part of our family’s adventure in wellness, I attend a Celebrate Recovery 12-Step study. A small group of ladies meet weekly to discuss the steps, pray and find freedom from various hurts, habits and hangups.

One thing I notice as I work through the study is that recovery depends on honesty. After all, the first step is admitting you have a problem. To even work through the 12 steps, we must let go of denial and be honest!

But honesty is hard. It’s much easier to say that everything’s fine and cover up the shame, guilt, heartache and trauma in our lives. I know – I’ve done it for years!

And that’s why the devotional I read today (“When You Just Can’t Bring Cheerful”) resonated with me. We don’t have to be cheerful all the time and cover up what’s really going on in our hearts and lives. In fact, we find true healing only when we are honest, open and authentic. Think about it – God knows our hearts. We’re only lying to ourselves and hindering His healing work when we try to hide from Him.

I take comfort in the fact that even though honesty is challenging, painful, embarrassing and scary, it’s also the source of true freedom. I pray we can be honest with ourselves, Jesus and others today. May we take time to be authentic and real with our Father today.

Today’s prayer: “Thank You, God, for loving us, even the ugly parts, and for gently drawing us to Yourself as You give us freedom and joy! Give us courage to be real with You and trust Your gentleness, mercy and grace.”

Titus 3:4-5a, “But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy.” (NIV)

Hosea 2:14, “Therefore, behold, I will allure her … and bring her into the wilderness, and I will speak tenderly and to her heart.” (AMPC)

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How a Sock Changed My Career

For over five years, I’ve made a living writing web content. When I started, I was homeschooling my children, and I needed a flexible career I could manage during independent work times or after school.

Three years ago, we finally enrolled both of them in public school, but my days were still busy caring for them. My son has autism with behavioral and anxiety challenges. I never knew when I’d need to pick him up from school early. I also had to be available for numerous therapy appointments, snow and vacation days, and other emergencies.

Thankfully, my son has finally turned a corner this year. He’s mainstreamed at our local middle school, and he rarely has a problem that requires me to pick him up early. I still have multiple therapy appointments each month for him, but overall I have more free time during the day.

That’s why I decided to branch out this year and try my hand at subbing for classroom/office aides in our local school district. I have a Christian Education degree and have worked with children of all ages in various educational settings. And of course, I did and continue to teach my own kids at home. Several friends sub, and they shared information about how to get started and their positive experiences.

I took the plunge and applied. I filled out all the required paperwork and clearances and attended job training. I even have an official badge! I also applied to sub for the IU-13 and Substitute Teacher Services. I can still write in my free time, but I can also begin a fulfilling career in a classroom.

My first job was supposed to be Monday morning at the elementary school my son attended last year. However, a sock changed everything.

socks

You see, because of his autism, he has sensory issues. If his clothes feel the least bit tight, scratchy or irritating, he feels anxious and won’t wear them. We haven’t had any clothing issues for months, but he sure did have an issue this morning before school!

For some reason, his socks didn’t feel right. He has successfully worn these same socks for months with no issue, but suddenly they feel weird. He complained about the crease and how it felt on his feet and in his shoes. In the past, he simply switched the uncomfortable sock to the other foot where the crease is not an issue, but today, no tricks he tried worked.

As he tried on sock after sock and realized it was uncomfortable, he simply tossed it across the room. And his anxiety grew as he realized he would be late for the bus if he didn’t find socks soon.

My son’s anxiety attack lasted about 15 minutes. He screamed, shouted, cursed and cried.  It wasn’t until the very last possible second that he finally choose a pair of socks to wear and rushed out the door to the bus.

Today’s sock incident used to happen every day. I’m incredibly grateful that it only happens rarely now! However, because he does still have anxiety challenges, I decided to reevaluate my career.

Most substitute jobs require me to leave for work around 7 AM so I arrive at the school by 7:10 and have time to find the classroom and get my duty assignments before the students arrive. My kids don’t leave on the bus until 7:06.

Those six minutes are short and long.

What happens if he has another sock incident? I won’t be home to coach him through it. And since my husband leaves for work at 6:30, he’s unavailable. I also committed not to give my daughter, who’s two years older than him, the responsibility of parenting him.

After my children successfully walked out the door today, I brewed a cup of coffee, took a few deep breaths and spent time in prayer and soul-searching. For the sake of my children, I decided to pass on any jobs that require me to leave in the morning before they do. I’m disappointed, but it simply doesn’t make good sense for me to put my career before my kids at this point.

Which brings me to how a sock changed my career.

Because of this incident, I have decided to branch out and find new writing clients. I even began outlining several ebooks (topics to be announced!). I’m exploring other options, too, that allow me to be home for my kids and earn a living.

I know that for me, this is the right decision. And I trust that God will bring me opportunities and courage to search for new opportunities.He has always been faithful and will continue to be faithful in providing all our needs!

And I’m thankful for socks, too.

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Happy New Year!

Welcome 2017!

How are you celebrating? I’ll be watching movies with my family and enjoying traditional pork and saurkraut with homemade mashed potatoes and biscuits, a Pennsylvania Dutch tradition.

It’s also a day often set aside for making resolutions. I doubt I’ll do that because I usually end up falling off the wagon by the third day, but I did think it would be fun to learn something new today.

So what will I learn? How about how to say “Happy New Year” in 165 languages. Want to join me? Check out the list compiled by my freelance colleague Daisy Mariposa at http://hubpages.com/education/Saying-Happy-New-Year-in-165-Languages

Shana Tova!
2017
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DIY Made Easy

One of the bloggers I follow wrote an interesting post today. She introduced Kathy Ceceri, a DIY professional. Check out the post and learn about some fun, creative projects you can do with your kids!

I Want You To Meet Kathy Ceceri

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Who Are Your “Necessary People”?

In my inbox today, I found an interesting idea. Karen Ehman and her family surprised one of their family’s “necessary people” with a celebration.

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Her story made me consider the necessary people in my life. I would certainly include my spouse and kids, family and friends, but the list doesn’t stop there. Grocery store clerks, mail carriers, bank tellers, medical professionals, school teachers – they all are important.

So who are your necessary people? How will do you celebrate these important people? Let’s share ideas as we spread kindness and show others that we value them!

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Are We Really So Different?

As a business owner and copywriter, I follow several business bloggers. Seth Godin is one of the people whose writings often teach me something new. Today, he blogged about differences. His words hit a chord, and God used them to remind me to change my perspective.

Are we really so different?

What would life be like if we looked for commonalities?

Read the article here and let me know what you think.

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When Frustrations Become Blessings

My son has autism and other issues, which means he takes several medications every day.

ys-meds

His weekly pill organizer, my awesome hubby’s idea!

So far, we haven’t noticed negative side effects, but we’re always looking for natural products that address his challenges without harming his body or mind.

His autism med doctor recently suggested NAC (also known as N-acetylcysteine or N-acetyl-L-cysteine, a derivative of the amino acid L-cysteine). NAC is a supplement that is shown to help kids with autism and includes no adverse side effects. Awesome!

There were only two problems – our pharmacy doesn’t carry it on the store shelves and insurance doesn’t cover it. In fact, since it’s a supplement, we don’t even get a prescription for it.

My pharmacy is pretty helpful and willingly ordered the pills the first time. And when I called last week for a refill, they said they’d order it again no problem. Except there was a problem. The pharmacy didn’t place the order. When I stopped by yesterday to pick up the pills, they told me they would not order it.

Now usually, I try to be nice. Honey gets more results than vinegar! But when it comes to my kids or my family, mama bear sometimes shows her claws. And I got a little huffy at the pharmacy yesterday when they said they wouldn’t order the pills my son needs. I clearly expressed my frustration that this supplement can help my son get off the other meds that could be harmful, and it’s frustrating that they won’t help.

I stewed on the frustration for almost an hour as I drove home, unloaded groceries from the car and prepped lunch. Finally, I did what I should have done in the first place. I prayed and asked God to show me what to do next. He prompted me to look up the medicine online, and guess what – I found it on Amazon where we can buy 250 pills for less than half of what the pharmacy charged for 90!

My frustration at the pharmacy was actually a blessing. Now, we can order the medicine a few days before we need it, have it delivered directly to our house and save money! I called the pharmacy, apologized for my attitude and told them that I found the medicine. They rejoiced with me.

What about you? What frustrations have you seen become blessings in your life? Despite the roadblock, you could see the negative turn into a positive! Share your story so we all can be encouraged to keep looking for the silver lining in all things!

silver-lining

Photo credit: printsforartssake.com

For more information on NAC:

https://sfari.org/funding/grants/abstracts/efficacy-of-n-acetyl-cysteine-in-autism

http://www.herbwisdom.com/herb-nac.html

 

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Teaching My Kids About Politics

y-and-recorded-message-from-donald-trumpGrowing up, politics was a big deal in my family. My dad never missed an opportunity to vote, even if he had to leave work early to make it to the polling place on time. Usually, he took me with him. I learned early that voting is our right and responsibility as American citizens.

That’s why turning 18 was a big deal for me! I could finally vote! What an honor and privilege! And when my study abroad semester found me living overseas during the 1996 election, I eagerly signed up to receive an absentee ballot (I still have the Egyptian newspaper that announced the winner!).

Fast forward to this year. I’m now a mom with two kids. They’re both in middle school and definitely opinionated about all kinds of topics like their favorite music, cars, food, beliefs and books, so it makes sense to include them in our political discussions.

Plus, hubby and I are both very into politics. Even though we don’t always agree, we do often watch political talk shows and the news together, and we regularly discuss current events. In fact, everyone knew well in advance that I would be taking over the remote when the conventions aired. They’re a highlight for me since I love the patriotic stories. (And I also hoped that this year’s conventions would help me decide who to vote for!)

We’re now less than two months away from the election. I’m still not totally convinced on which presidential candidate will get my vote, but my kids have their minds made up, and their arguments for their candidate are very logical and convincing. My son even likes to listen to the recorded political phone calls we receive.

I finally captured his joy tonight. He listened to the whole message from Donald Trump with a highly animated look on his face, and was so excited!

Because it was a big deal to him, I decided to post the picture on Facebook. Some of my friends shared his enthusiasm, others commented on how handsome he looks and one  lady blocked me.

I actually laughed when I saw that she blocked me, then I deleted her comment. And that led me to consider whether I was right to post something political on my page.

Generally, I avoid controversy. Life is hard enough without starting fights online! But I am proud of my kids for being interested in politics and for making their own political decisions. I believe I owe it to them to teach them how to weigh the candidate’s words and actions, consider all the facts and decide who they will support. That’s why I shared my son’s picture. I wanted to support his right to his own opinion and share with my friends that he has been listening and learning and knows who he wants to win. I’m proud that he is willing to stand up for what he believes in, and I won’t apologize for that!

So whether or not you agree with him or with me, know that I will not unfriend you (unless you get obnoxious, rude or mean about it!). I welcome conversation and support your freedom to vote, live and choose as you wish. Those are the same values I wish to teach my children as I equip them to participate in their democratic right and responsibility.

God Bless America!

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